Yeah, We're Going Down
by a.khodayar
Summary: "I'm gonna go by Quinn, when I'm gone, Blaine. I wanted to tell you. So when we finally get out of here, maybe…maybe you'll find me faster." "If we find each other before we get out of the damn state, we have to be careful, okay? We have to be different."
1. Chapter 1

**- A/N; I don't own Glee.**

**I've t****his story in my head since the hiatus between the end of season 2 and beginning of 3 and I finally got to writing it out. I'm well aware I haven't finished "Lost Somewhere", if you've read it**. **I do plan to, I'm just very stuck**.** The song I listened to for this chapter was Arms by Christina Perri. And in case you wonder the 'it' they bring up will eventually be explained, if you stay with this story. Lastly, if you take the time to read this, I love you :]** **Please, please, PLEASE, review. I would love it so much.**

**PS, the Quaine is all friendship. Not romantic.**

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><p>"<em>I'm going to miss you so much, Luce." It's barely above a whisper and in a second she's flying across the jungle gym and into his arms. His breath hitches in his throat and he shakes when he hears sobs racking through the small girl's body. He grasps at her shoulders - they're so thin and bony, she's been eating less and less since it happened. He understands, he's been adjusting too. They both ended up on all the same medications, but knowing today was their last day together, neither took them, both wanting to be fully there for their goodbyes.<em>

"_Blaine, what's going to happen now?" She sobs, clutching to his chest. She wants to stay, but she knows it isn't safe. She feels him take a deep breath as he wipes away her tears and forces her to look at him._

"_We're going to do what we have to. We need to protect ourselves, Luce. We have to do different things we have to change and-"_

"_Run? That's what we're doing, Blaine, we're running away. Don't you want to be strong Blainers? Why are we running?"_

_ He breathes deep again. He's not sure what to say. He doesn't want to run, but he knows they have to. It just isn't safe anymore._

"_Do you think we'll meet again, Lucy?" She looks up, confused. His tone isn't normal, he sounds so sad and defeated. From that point on, she knows that she has to be strong too. They both do. No matter what life throws at them._

"_Yeah. Yeah I do. We're soul mates, Blaine. Our destinies are intertwined."_

_He chuckles and plays with a strand of her long auburn hair. The thought, it's amusing._

"_Lucy, we cant be soul mates, I'm-"_

"_Yes Blainers, you're gay. I know, I was there when realization smacked you in that thick head of yours," she smiles and looks at him with tears in her eyes, "but I still think you're my soul mate. I don't think a soul mate necessarily means a romantic bond. I think it just means strong. Like my soul was split in pieces and one was placed beside yours and our souls just like, combined and we have each other forever."_

_He smiles back at her and kisses her nose. It's different now; when she stopped eating and they decided it was best to leave the area, she asked to get a nose job. She wanted to look different, and he still doesn't agree, but thinks she's still as beautiful as she was months ago._

"_Pieces of a soul?" He says, amused._

"_Yes, pieces. Because you can have more than one soul mate. One day, you're going to meet a beautiful boy and you're going to sweep him off his feet." She finally moves from his embrace and stares into the distance from the top of the slide._

_He laughs, loud and real - she hasn't heard him sound happy in a month. It's a wonderful sound and she smiles big. "No boy will ever love me with this crazy mop of hair and huge glasses. I look like a total dork." _

_She laughs with him and takes he own glasses off. She turns around and stares into his eyes. "You're right. You do. But someone will see what I see and more, and he'll love you."_

_He just smiles and hugs her again. They're the same height now and he can honestly say he's okay with it. He doesn't mind being short that much._

"_I'm going to go by Quinn, when I'm gone. I wanted to tell you. So when we finally get out of here, maybe…maybe you'll find me faster." She looks at him and waits for an answer. He purses his lips and runs a hand through his hair. He lets her go and walks away from the slide and leans against the bars of the play ground._

"_Luce, Lucy, I'm scared. For you, for me, for Sugar. We're not safe, not 'til we're gone. You understand that, right?" He looks at her and she nods, tears forming in her eyes. He continues softly, "If we find each other before we get out of the damn state, we have to be careful, okay? We can't be, we can't be ourselves. You'll be Quinn, and I'll be, well, different too. I don't think I can handle a different name, but I wont really be me. Not until we're out of here. It isn't safe, angel. We could put ourselves in danger, or anyone we're friends with. We have to be careful." He licks his lips and grabs her hand, "We have to stay safe."_

_She nods a few times, processing what he said. She knows in her heart Blaine is right, but it hurts so much. Him and Sugar, they're her best friends. Neither of them even got to say goodbye to Sugar. At least they had this._

"_Lucy." He says quietly._

"_Blaine." She whispers, looking up at him with tears and biting her lip. He sighs, and holds her in his arms again._

"_I'll find you, Lucy Quinn Fabray. I'll find you and we'll go live in New York or Boston or Los Angeles, some big city, and we'll both be married and you'll be the surrogate of my kids and we __**will **__be friends for our lives and after, because we're soul mates, like you said. I promise you, Luce, I'll find you." _

_She nods and neither talk. Their time together is coming to an end, but neither want to go. But they know they have to._

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><p>Blaine stares at the playground in the distance with longing. He remembers being here with Lucy- no, Quinn, all those years ago. They've both grown up now, and kept to their promises. It's so hard for him, but he's not sure about her.<p>

She doesn't speak to him, and tries not to look at him. He understands she's keeping to their pact, but it hurts him so much to know he can't share that with Kurt. He loves Kurt and he's one hundred and ten percent sure that a piece of _his _is also with Kurt and all he wants is to tell Quinn. But he knows that he cant do that.

"Sweetie, are you coming? That cool diner is just down the block." He here an angelic voice, Kurt's voice, from behind him. Blaine takes one last look at the park, and turns around. He pulls Kurt into his arms and kisses him with as much love as he can. The taller boy is surprised, but responds immediately, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's neck and smiling. After a while, they break apart and Blaine is trying to keep tears back. He doesn't cry much anymore, but Kurt brings every real feeling from Blaine's heart and soul.

"Honey, not that I mad, but what was that for?" Kurt says as they walk towards the diner. Blaine turns again to the park and he can almost see a group of friends playing on the swings.

A small brunette with a long French braid is giggling, while another girl with pigtails and glasses is on the swing and boy with a mop of curly hair is sitting on the ground, laughing loudly as the girls see who can jump the highest

He blinks and they're gone. Blaine smiles softly and turns back to Kurt, grabbing his hand kissing it.

"For loving me and my crazy hair."

His boyfriend just laughs and holds his hand as they enter the small diner. Blaine knows that he's not being careful, being back here with Kurt, but it's been so long that he's not sure it matter.

But he figures, maybe some things are worth risking.

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><p>"<em>You put your arms around me<em>

_And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go_

_You put your arms around me and I'm home."_


	2. Chapter 2

**- A/N; Still don't Glee**

**I promise that this will actually get interesting soon. Sorry it's so boring. But please, PLEASE review :]**

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><p>Quinn heads down the near empty hall of William McKinley High School humming under her breath. It's a relatively nice day and it's hard to feel sad when the sun is out. She puts her things onto her locker and pulls out the notebook she always takes to glee practice that's filled with sketches.<p>

She hears a familiar laugh down the hall and glances to her right. Down at the end of the hall, Quinn can see Sugar and Mercedes laughing about something. Quinn can't help but smile, she loves seeing her old friend happy.

"Hey Quinn." Quinn jumps at the voice and immediately looks around for the person that voice belongs to. When she finally finds Puck, she smiles and closes her locker.

"Do you want to walk to glee with me?" He asks, trying his best not to make that smirk she says he makes. She laughs and curls her arm around his.

"I'd like that." She says quietly, walking towards the girls she heard earlier.

As she walks passed Sugar, she can feel her heart pounding in her chest, Sugar looks her in the eyes with something Quinn can only describe as sorrow. She feels so bad, not being able to cling to her old friend, or read to her when she's sad or have movie marathons. She misses Sugar so much.

And she misses Blaine too.

Quinn is trying hard to stay mad at Blaine. She can't believe he was so careless as to come here, to a _public _school. Blaine was _safe _at Dalton and he went and blew it for Kurt.

But really, she wasn't mad for that reason at all. She was so very happy for those two, but she was mad at Blaine for making her hurt. His presence taunts her. She just wants her friends back.

But Quinn knows that this is for their safety. She can't be Lucy anymore. She has to be blonde, pretty, ice-queen Quinn Fabray. It's safe. Not having anyone close was safe.

Not keeping Beth was safe. It was for Beth's safety. What if she had kept her and he came back? What if he tried to hurt her baby? Her perfect, little, baby girl.

Quinn didn't want to think about the what if's. This was for the best. Lucy being Quinn was for the best.

Puck messes with her hair and pulls her closer, sensing her distraction.

"You okay, Q?" He asks as they walk in to the choir room. She catches Blaine's eyes and smiles softly.

"Everything's okay." She says this more to Blaine than Puck. So maybe he catches on and know that she's okay.

Only she isn't, because this is hard. Very, very hard. She just wants her friends.

"_Stop it, Lucy." _She whispers as quietly as she can. She has to stop thinking about it. She watches as Santana and Brittany walk through the doors, smiling and holding hands, followed by Sugar, Mercedes, and Artie. Sam and Rory came in behind her and Puck, while Mike, Tina, Finn, Kurt, and Blaine were already here. All that was missing out of the students was Rachel, and Quinn had noticed that her and Finn had been acting strange lately.

She secretly wondered what _that_ was about.

Quinn pulled out her note book and started sketching Sam and Rory who were laughing loudly and doing impressions. She loved drawing, it reminded her that no matter what happened, she was still Lucy, no matter how many lies she told about it.

Because ultimately, her and Blaine, they were liars. They weren't themselves. Lucy was Quinn and Blaine was…different. Blaine was no longer a mess of curls, glasses, geekiness and curse words. Blaine was a polite, dapper, good guy who gelled down his curls. But he was still a complete dork.

Quinn laughed softly at this, because it was funny that no matter how hard Blaine tried he was still a nerd. She loved it.

She missed him.

Quinn turned now to watch Blaine and Kurt. Kurt was rambling on about the latest bit of gossip and Blaine was watching him but hardly listening. She could tell by that spaced out look he was day dreaming of Kurt. Probably something dirty that she did _not_ want to know.

Quinn is jolted from her thoughts as Rachel walks in, quietly. Which should be a warning in itself since Rachel is _never _quiet. Rachel takes the only available seat - right next to Quinn - and sighs, wiping some tears away quickly, but slow enough for Quinn to catch.

"Rachel, what's wrong?" Quinn asks quietly, as she's almost positive Rachel doesn't want anyone to see she's upset.

Rachel stares at the blonde for a moment, confused. She knows that they're kind of friends, but she doesn't really see why Quinn is actually caring.

"You know what? Don't answer yet. Do you want to see a movie tonight then maybe stop somewhere and talk? You look like…" she takes a deep breath, "you could use a friend. And I don't want to be alone tonight. Is that okay?" Quinn asks, and receives a one thousand watt Rachel Berry smile.

"I'd really appreciate that Quinn, thank you."

They decide on which movie and what time right before Mr. Schue walks in. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Blaine jump up and talk to Mr. Schue in hushed tones. After a while, Mr. Schue claps his hands for their attention.

"Guys, Blaine has a song prepared for today. So listen."

Blaine smiles at them all and gives Quinn a quick wink that almost goes unnoticed.

The band starts a familiar tune and Blaine tries not to stare at her as he sings.

"_You can go, you can start all over again. You could try to find a way to make another day go by. You can hide, hold all your feelings inside You could try to carry on when all you wanna do is cry."_

Blaine dances around the room, keeping her, Sugar, and Kurt's eyes as he sings. The others either don't notice or don't care.

"_And maybe someday we'll figure all this out Try to put an end to all our doubt And try to find a way to make things better now that Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud. We'll be better off somehow, someday"_

Blaine sits on the piano with Brad and plays the parts he knows, singing out and with so much emotion Quinn forgets they're not close and sings the next verse with him.

"_Now we wait and try to find another mistake. If you throw it all away then maybe you could change your mind You can run, oh, and when everything is over and done. You could shine a little light on everything around you Man, it's good to be someone"_

They get to the chorus and Quinn catches herself. She stops and allows Blaine to sing the bridge by himself, the rest of the glee club joining in after that.

"_Cause sometimes we don't really notice Just how good it can get. So maybe we should start all over, Start all over again."_

The song comes to an end, while all their friends clap and laugh and praise Blaine's song choice.

Quinn can't help but lock eyes with him, she know what he's saying and she know he misses her too.

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><p><em>"Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud<em>

_We'll be better off somehow, someday."_


	3. Chapter 3

**- A/N; Don't own Glee**

**This chapter too**k **a w****hile to write, but i'm proud of it.**

**Ple****ase review, I really don't want to continue if no one likes it.**

Quinn is _furious. _How could that idiot propose to Rachel? What was he thinking? That she'll give up her dreams of NYADA and Broadway? Why was he such an idiot.

Blaine was _pissed. _He should _not _have gone home last night. And now he has bruises on his back to prove that. He got that apartment near McKinley for a reason. He had to stay away, and he had to protect himself and Kurt now that he wasn't at Dalton. He had to stay away from his parents.

And Lucy. And Sugar. Damn, this was hard.

They were all in the choir room, awaiting Mr. Schue. Everyone one took notice to Quinn's mood and stayed away. Blaine, however, had a boyfriend who cared about him very much.

"Blaine, did I do something wrong?" Blaine stopped biting his lip and tried to smile at his boyfriend.

"No, of course not."

"Then why are you mad?" He sighs and uncrosses his legs.

"I'm not, Kurt. I promise. I'm just stressed. I had an…argument with my Dad last night."

"Just an argument?" Blaine gritted his teeth.

"Yes, Kurt."

"_Hah." _

Blaine's head whipped towards that sarcastic laugh. He _knew _Luc-Quinn was purposely trying to push his buttons but he couldn't help himself and something in him snapped.

"Something funny, Fabray?" Kurt's eyes widened, shocked at his boyfriends sudden change of mood. Quinn smiled sadistically.

"No, of course not, _Anderson." _She ignored him and went back to her sketch of Rachel. Blaine took this opportunity to turn the tables on her.

"Pretty drawing, that Rachel? It's pretty detailed. You must look at her a lot, huh?" Quinn slammed her sketch book closed.

"Get off my ass, _Blainers."_

"Right after you get off mine, _Quinnie."_ Quinn and Blaine stared each other down, with the whole choir room gawking at them, before Mr. Schuester came running in and wrote something on the board.

"Secrets," He begins, "everyone has them, and they're heavy. Remember how many came out last year?" He pauses to stare at the group of students who are staring blankly up at him. He walks to the middle of the choir room.

"Your assignment this week: come up with a song about your secret that you're willing to share."

For once since he started this club, the choir room is completely silent, even Rachel. Slowly, Sugar raises her hand.

"But what if the secret isn't fully yours to share?" Blaine and Quinn glare at her.

"Then you keep your damn mouth _shut." _Blaine snapped, shocking the whole entire choir room.

"Blaine!" Kurt said, everyone staring. Blaine became aware of his mistake and covered his mouth, trying to play it off.

"Sorry, Sugar, I had a bad night." She ignored him and again raised her hand.

"What if I don't _want _to keep quiet?"

"You don't have a choice, you freaking retard." Quinn stated.

"Don't talk to her like that!" Blaine snapped. For what seemed like the hundredth time today, the whole choir room stared.

"I don't think it's any of your business how I talk her, is it?"

"I think it's my business whether you're a _**bitch**_ to her to her or not." Quinn is hurt. Blaine has never called her that, ever. She's tired and furious, and it just hasn't registered today that she's Quinn, not Lucy. She fights back tears and knocks her sketchbook to the floor.

"Think again, _**fairy, **_because it _isn't _your business anymore!"

Blaine gasps. Now _he's _hurt.

Quinn may not be his best friend anymore, but she _knows _not to call him that. That's what his Dad calls him.

What his brother called him.

"Wow," he stands up, ignoring Kurt's protests, because Blaine just can't face him. "You really are a bitch. No wonder no one wants to be your friend anymore." Quinn can feel the tears spilling.

"Go slit your wrists, Anderson!"

"Right after you pop another pill, Fabray." And with that, he's out of the room. Quinn not long after.

"Did…that just happen?" Santana asked allowed. No one in the choir room spoke.

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><p>Blaine hit the punching bag as hard as he could. He hated this. He hated this stupid school, he hated his parents, his family.<p>

The lying.

Quinn.

God, he _hated _Quinn. She wasn't Lucy. Lucy was nice, sweet, compassionate. She's never do anything to hurt him. She always took care of him.

Things were too far gone, now. He needed to tell someone. He couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Blaine?" he heard Kurt's voice.

This was it.

"Can I tell you something, Kurt?" He threw another punch at the bag. Kurt sighed and sat down. Truth be told, Kurt loved to watch his boyfriend box. He usually didn't talk, but Kurt was hoping he'd get a reason as to why Blaine had been acting up.

"Yes." His answer was simple.

"Quinn and I used to be friends," another punch, "Before she was Quinn," a kick, "when she was Lucy." He stopped, and studied his boyfriend for a reaction.

Kurt was shocked. But he masked his shock and waited for Blaine to continue.

"Something…happened. And we had to move. The three of us…that is, Sugar was our friend too." Blaine's anger once again over took him and he hit the bag hard.

"Blaine…why didn't you tell me? Why didn't she tell us? Baby…._what happened?"_ Blaine stopped, he walked to Kurt and sat next to him. Blaine sighed, this part he didn't want to talk about, not yet. It was too much.

"Listen, Kurt, I love you. So much. But I just, can't talk about it. Not yet. I just, I wanted to tell you about Lucy, because she isn't Quinn. I miss her. She was my best friend. I just, wanted you to know."

Kurt nodded. He was still taking all this in. He could see that this was very hard for his boyfriend and didn't want to push him.

"Thank you for telling me, sweetie. When you're ready, tell me the rest. Okay?" Blaine smiled slightly through the tears and kissed Kurt.

"_I love you." _Blaine whispered against his lips. They didn't leave the gym for another hour.

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><p>"Dad! I'm home!" Shane called into the kitchen. It was dark, and quiet.<p>

_Where is Blaine?_

"Shane, son, come sit down. We need to talk." His father, Michael spoke. He turned the corner and could see his Mother cooking, fresh bruises on her shoulder.

"Shane, we want to send you to Dalton. It'll really change some things since your record is now expunged. It's a good school." Shane scrunched his nose and pushed a dark curl out of his face.

"But what about _Blaine. _I don't want to deal with him." His father's face darkened and a sickening smile overtook him.

"He is not son of mine. That _fag _doesn't live here anymore. He goes to some public school in Lima. He got his on fairy boy, didn't you hear? Disgusting." Shane laughed humorlessly.

His brother was a disgrace to their family. Blaine and those stupid girl friends of his ruined Shane's life.

"He's a fag. Sick freak. I wish he would have died when I-"

"Be careful what you say, son." He laughed humorlessly, mimicking Shane's earlier action, "I made sure the police knew that you shooting Blaine was an accident. And the Fabray's moved out of town after that accident. Speaking of which, Mary!" Shane's mother flinched and spun around.

"Yes, darling? Dinner is nearly finished." She smiled as sweetly as she could.

"Did you know that Judy Fabray kicked Russell out? That woman will get what's coming to her, won't she?" He laughed and Mary kept her smile.

"Yes, of course."

"Dad," Shane started, attempting to get his father's attention, "What about Uncle Al and Sugar?" His Dad grunted, wishing not to hear his brother and niece's names.

"They left too, son. I believe Lucy Fabray, Sugar, and Blaine all go to school together now. But they don't matter. Those freaks will get it. In other matters, be prepared for Dalton in the morning."

His father continued but Shane wasn't listening. He was planning already on how he would take down those freaks.

They better prepare.

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><p><em>"Tell me what you want to hear<em>

_Something that will light those ears_

_I'm sick of all the insincere_

_ I'm gonna give all my secrets away"_


	4. Chapter 4

**-A/N; Don't own Glee**

**To all that said they were confused, you were supposed to be. This chapter explains it all to you. Sorry it took so long. Also, a friend of mine made a beautiful graphicfor it.**

**Her tumblr - itsallaboutquaine [dot] tumblr [dot] com**

**Mine - akhodayar [dot] tumblr [dot] com**

**Graphic - itsallaboutquaine [dot] tumblr [dot] com / post /16717209173 / im-gonna-go-by-quinn-when-im-gone-blaine-i (close all the spaces)**

**Bye for now and PLEASE review! They're so appreciated!**

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><p>Blaine finds himself on Kurt's door step that night. It's Friday and he really has no where to be. He doesn't care if he's ready or not; he's going to tell his boyfriend everything.<p>

He just has to find the courage to knock.

Courage. It's funny, it's something he told Kurt the day he met him, but it hadn't been something that was fully his own advice.

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><p>"<em>Blaine, what house would we be in?" Sugar asked. He and Lucy had just finished reading Sugar Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Sugar wouldn't read them herself, but desperately wanted to know the full stories, so Lucy had offered to read it to her and Blaine just kind of caught on.<em>

_Blaine and Lucy caught each other's eyes and smiled, both wondering exactly what their friend had just asked. Lucy finally opened her mouth and smiled at the smaller girl next to her._

"_Well, separately, we'd be in completely different houses. I'd be in Ravenclaw, you'd be a Slytherin, and Blaine would be in Gryffindor. But the golden trio. So just like Harry, Ron, and Hermione, no matter our talents, we're brave. We'd be in Gryffindor together. We're fearless together." Blaine laughed and closed the book. Sugar thought about this and smiled._

"_So we have to always have courage, right Blainers?"_

"_Right."_

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><p>Blaine finally stopped day dreaming and knocked on the door, waiting a few moments before Finn opened it. He stared at him and smiled, before yelling for Kurt.<p>

Kurt came up the stares and just looked at him. Neither said anything.

"Can we talk? I…I want to explain it all now." Kurt nodded and Blaine followed the taller brunette down the stairs. Once in his room, Kurt kissed him softly and reassuringly, before pulling him to lay down on his bed.

"I just…don't know where to start."

"From the beginning?" Blaine scoffed playfully and rolled his eyes. He took a deep breath and ran a finger through his damp, un-gelled curls.

"Well. From the beginning? I make my Dad seem nicer than he is," He pauses, seeing that Kurt expected this and continues. "I have a brother - Shane. He really just, takes after my Dad, and he's literally only 10 months younger. My mom is powerless to the both of them. And I guess, that makes me powerless too.

"When I was a kid, I learned to hide everything so I wouldn't be a target. Sometimes I slipped up, did something that Dad deemed _faggy," _Kurt flinches at the word, but doesn't stop him. "I get beat. I didn't fight back, because it just would get worse."

"Uncle Al, that's Sugar's Dad, tried to help but my Mom wouldn't leave him." He noticed the confused look from his boyfriend and explained, "Sugar is my cousin. Our Grandpa was abusive, so when he turned 18 he changed it to our Grandma's maiden name. Wanted nothing to do with his father."

"Anyway, there was this girl next door, Lucy. And she was, well she had the same situation. Her Dad was abusive too, but she was even more careful than me to not get hurt. We got close, really close. We were absolutely best friends, and in middle school, we dated. It's what everyone expected and there wasn't pressure. She was my friend. I thought the only feelings I needed for her was the love I already felt for my best friend."

"While dating Lucy, I started to notice more that I wasn't normal. That I couldn't really…you know, get hot for her. I always knew, but I tried so hard to avoid it."

He paused and took another breath. "Kurt, baby, the next part…it's bad. And I'm sorry I didn't say, but it's, hard to explain. And it's so, scary to bring it up. If he comes back…" He trailed off. "You'll understand soon." Kurt kissed his hand and pleaded with his eyes for Blaine to continue.

"Lucy came over one day in the winter. It was snowing and she and Sugar always came over on snow days since my parents worked. She came over and we tried messing around. It was sloppy and just…weird. She stopped it - thank god - and I blurted it out right there. I told her I was gay. She laughed and cried. Literally at the same time. And then we cuddled for a bit and talked."

"Sugar finally got there and stood by the door. Sugar had heard the conversation and just smiled at us and then," He paused, wiping away some tears, "Shane came in. He looked so, so frantic. He had my Dad's gun," Kurt gasped. "Sugar tried to take her and he pushed her really, really hard. She hit the corner of my dresser and fell. There was blood. A lot. She took some brain damage from that. Slight short term memory loss. She takes people seriously, too. Like when Santana said they needed wet towels for Finn and Sugar started to go for them? She honestly thought San was serious."

"Lucy, she jumped, she tried to move towards him to stop him, but the second she moved, _bam." _Blaine shuddered, grasping Kurt's hand and laying on his back. "He shot me. It only hit my shoulder, but enough that if Lucy hadn't called the cops, I could've died."

"My Dad protected him. Made sure that the police knew that it was an accident and he was just playing with the gun and hadn't meant to. Shane only had to go to a boys correctional school, and not like jail or something. Dad definitely paid them off. But there was one detective, Sanchez. He knew it was on purpose. He told me that Sugar, Lucy, and I had to do what we could to protect ourselves and each other. So between our therapy sessions, we made a plan. The doctors had put me and Lucy on the same PTSD, anxiety and depression meds, but her dosage was higher than mine. She scares easily, so it made sense."

"She started taking dance lessons and gymnastics, and the meds made us lose our appetites, so she lost weight like crazy. When she asked her Dad for a nose job, he thought she was 'Willing to become pretty' _bastard."_ He growled. Kurt jumped a little, and squeezed Blaine's hand. "I started gelling my hair, stopped cursing, changed my whole wardrobe. I mean, I do like it now. I love what I wear, but I only did it to hide. Eventually, I came up with Dalton. My Dad went there, so it didn't take much convincing. A few days before I was set to go, Lucy told me she was moving. Sugar already had, and I was loosing my best friend. I had, started cutting at that point. She knew, I should have known Lucy knew. Didn't realize that until today."

"So then, we knew we had to cut off ties until we were out completely. When we turned 18 and were free. It was really hard, but it worked. Then I met you and you became my world. When we went to Rachel's party, I hadn't planned on drinking until I saw her. I was so, so shocked. Then I came to McKinley and it got 10 times harder. And there it is. The full story. If you're not too mad, will you hold me?" Blaine choked out and then proceeded to let out a sob.

Kurt held him close and kissed his forehead. He had to be strong and have courage for Blaine. He soaked it all in and made sure Blaine knew he still loved him.

Because after all of that, he knew very well he would never let Blaine go. Blaine needed Kurt as much as Kurt needed Blaine.

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><p><em>"I'm not coming back<em>

_I've done something so terrible, I'm terrified to speak_

_But you'd expect that from me_

_I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt, _

_Now the rain is just washing you out of my hair_ "


	5. Note to the Readers

Dear Loyal and mistreated readers,

I deeply apologize for ignoring my stories. It's been almost a year now for "Yeah We're Going Down" and even longer for "Lost Somewhere". I regret letting these go. I should have kept up.

But as a sort of early Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza, Winter Solstice, or if you don't celebrate anything, just a present for the hell of it, I'm re-opening them.

Not that anyone would know, but the last two years of my life were a strange and new hell. It was hard as fuck and miserable. But it's getting better, so much better. I'm in college now and things are very different.

If you read both of my stories, the same exact note is going in both, so if you're reading one don't look at the other, it's the same thing. Unless you want to, by all means.

As of now, it's my winter break. I plan on being with my mother, sister, and all of my extended family. I plan on spending this break reinventing or simply continuing my stories, and starting a new one. I also plan on finishing them all. I have quite a few new fandoms, new and old, that I'd love to explore.

All in all, if you're reading this, if you've stuck around to see the end, or even if you're just now reading my stories, Thank you. I won't disappoint you and expect new chapters in the next week or two. (maybe three, depends on how long it takes for me to type them out).

_"If we can't protect the Earth, you can be damn sure we'll avenge it."_

__Love,

Beth


	6. Chapter 5

**- A/N; I don't own Glee. Obviously.**

**So this chapter is kind of like, reminiscing. Remembering things. Whatever, you'll see, but it takes place at different times which is why it's italicized. And brownie points if you get the reference at the end.**

_The first time Quinn sees Blaine after the incident is fairly soon after, only a year. It's her sophomore year at McKinley and she's starting it out pretty poorly. She's pregnant. With Puckerman's baby, only everyone thinks it's Finn's, and Finn is preoccupied with Ru-paul Berry._

_She wants to talk to Blaine and damn it, she doesn't CARE that it's dangerous. It's after school and she doesn't have to see Mr. Schuester's crazy wife today, so she puts Dalton Academy in her GPS and heads out._

_It's a long trip, and she spends most of it crying. When she gets to Dalton, she spends another half hour staring at the school from a big tree outside before even going in. It's a mess of Blazers, red and blue, and pretty boys. She's in her cheerios uniform, eyes red and puffy, and yet no one notices her, so she silently walks the halls for twenty minutes before she sees him._

_Blaine is studying on a bay window, his nose engrossed in a book. The sun is shining on his face and his curls are matted down by gel. He's biting his lip and scrunching his nose, trying hard to understand whatever he is reading. _

_Quinn starts to walk forward slowly, the noise in the room gone but then-_

_"Blaaiiiiiine! Come on to warblers practice, you could get the lead!" An Asian boy grabs his book and runs off. Quinn expects him to laugh, yell, or curse, like he would have years ago. But he doesn't. He puts on a smile and stands up, then follows quietly. _

_This is not her Blaine._

_Blaine hears the squeak of shoes against linoleum and turns around. He sees a red outfit and a blonde ponytail._

_He doesn't understand why there's a girl in an all boys school._

* * *

><p><em>Blaine is excited to go to a party with Kurt. Truth be told, he definitely likes the taller boy, he just doesnt want to ruin anything. They're going to Rachel's house, a pretty girl he's met a few times before but doesn't really know.<em>

_He comes down Rachel's stairs with Finn and Kurt, assuring Rachel he's not after her set list. _

_"Is that a...stage..." He sees her in the middle of his sentence. Beautiful, skinny blonde Quinn. She exchanges words with Rachel and walks off, barely looking at him._

_When Kurt told him stories about the pretty cheerleader Quinn at his school, he never put two and two together. This means she had a baby. This means her father kicked her out. This means her mom left her Dad and now they're almost free. He wants to hurl._

_He didn't want to be like his Dad, but this is a special occasion. So he drinks. 2 bottles, four, a few shots, a body shot off Santana's not-girlfriend Britney. He talks to Finn, trying to express how cool it is that Finn and Kurt are brothers and love each other when they're not blood, and his brother shot him, but he doesn't get that far. _

_He can hear Quinn bitching about what Puck did to her, how he ruined her body. Blaine thinks she's beautiful. He doesn't know why but they're all sitting on the floor in front of a bottle and he remembers this from middle school and hopes it lands on Lucy again. Rachel's spin lands on him. He could be drunk, but he's sure he feels something for her. _

_They sing a duet together. He's singing to Lucy Quinn, hoping she'll talk to him. That's the last thing he remembers before waking up in Kurt's bed._

_Quinn watches the whole night, and stays away. During the duet, she notices he's not wearing gel this time. _

* * *

><p><em>Sugar walks into the choir room of the new school, ecstatic to join this glee club. There's food in her hair and on her clothes, but she wants to sing so it doesnt matter.<em>

_She spits out cruel words and lies so they'll fear her, like she's done her whole entire life, even more so now._

_She choke's bad, she always does. It doesn't really matter, she knows it'll work eventually. Later, outside during lunch, she hears music and looks up. _

_It's Blaine. _

_Tears form instantly. His gels are curled and he's singing some cheesy song when she KNOWS he prefers alternative or rock or punk or ANYTHING that isnt so top 40's . He's not the same. As soon as the song finishes, a girl with pink hair sets the piano on fire with her cigarette. She learns the girls name later, and goes home crying to her Daddy._

_When Blaine hears Sugar Motta, he and Quinn now go to the same school again, he instantly finds Quinn with her Skanks and grabs her hard, pulling her away._

_"What the fuck Blaine!" She tries to yank away but his grip is strong, at least that never changed._

_"Get your shit together Quinn! You're going to get us in trouble! Take your goddamn meds!" She finally yanks away and pushes him hard._

_"Don't tell me what to do! You left me here alone and never cared! Don't act like you do now just because Sugar is around! What happened to finding me and finding her and getting us out!" With that, she turned around and ran, far from him._

_He shook his head and headed home._

* * *

><p>Glee club has been tense since Quinn, Sugar, and Blaine argued during class. Santana and Britney sang a ballad together for their secret, and Artie sang another song about dancing. Nothing had gotten rid of the elephant in the room.<p>

Sugar sighs and stands up, every one in the room tenses and looks from Blaine to Quinn to Sugar.

"I won't share my secret. But I will sing a song from a book someone I love once read to me. It makes me feel...infinite."

As the first chord on the piano play, a few people understand the reference. Kurt, Tina, and surprisingly Puck smile and sing back up for her.

No one notices the tears on both Quinn and Blaine's faces.

* * *

><p><em>"Sing me to sleep <em>

_ Sing me to sleep _

_ I don't want to wake up _

_ On my own anymore"_


End file.
